Archive for June, 2011

June 20, 2011

Hackers hit dating site with the ugly stick

by Me

Here’s a case where hackers did something positive.

Website hacks have become ever more prevalent these days. Lulzsec, for example, is credited with cracking the CIA’s site (and no, not the Culinary Institute of America) as well as PBS’ website.

If you look like this, don't bother dating at all. Unless you can find an enchanted princess chained to a rock by a dragon and who, therefore, can't run away.

You could make a case that throwing a thorn into the side of national security and public broadcasting is not that nice. But, according to media like The Guardian, among others, a group of hackers infiltrated Beautifulpeople.com and let 30,000 ugly faces in the front door.

In case you don’t know, Beautifulpeople.com is a dating site that relies on no fewer than three mortal sins — lust, pride and greed. In order to be accepted, a potential dater must be rated as beautiful, and the site itself boasts thousands of people rejected for not being pretty enough.

And it doesn’t end there — last year, 5,000 people were kicked off the site after Christmas when they appeared to have gained some weight.

Really.

Then the hackers opened the door.

“We got suspicious when tens of thousands of new members were accepted over a six-week period, many of whom were no oil painting,” managing director Greg Hodge told The Guardian.

Upwards of 30,000 “ugly” people were let in the door, many of whom were then kicked out, costing the site tons of cashola.

This is Monica Hansen, Miss Norway. Apparently all Norwegian women look like this.

Oh, by the way, the virus was called “Shrek,” after the animated ogre who proves that looks don’t matter.

Interestingly, it matters where you’re from. Swedes are the most represented nationality on the site, as are Norwegians. Brits, Irish and Americans, apparently, need not apply.

God bless those hackers. Score one for the homely.

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June 16, 2011

Animals are stupid: Dogs can’t stop going in circles

by Me

Here’s out Animals are Stupid post this week, featuring the dog who can’t stop going in circles. Metaphor for life? Maybe.

June 8, 2011

Connecticut’s mountain lion tweets his banality

by Me

It started with the Bronx Zoo’s cobra, which supposedly escaped.

Then other people — and we must stress this point, they are people — started Twitter feeds for various animals and inanimate objects. Teddy bears have had Twitter pages, as have cats, mice and God only knows what else.

Now the Connecticut mountain lion has gotten into the act.

The debate of whether or not Connecticut is home to mountain lions has raged for years. The Department of Environmental Protection has denied the fact while residents across the state have sworn up and down that the “big cat” they saw was a real, honest-to-goodness mountain lion.

Meet Connecticut's newest social media guru.

But now the DEP has changed its tune — the department issued a statement confirming that a big cat sighted in Greenwich is, in fact, a mountain lion.

And all of two hours later it was sending out tweets. Here’s a sample:

“You said I didn’t exist #DEP but I do – This is my coming out ceremony! ROAR baby!”

Which, we have to admit, is pretty funny.

But, really, who has time for this sort of thing? One imagines some fat, bored journalist, vainly attempting to interject a bit of excitement into his banal existence, and maybe create something viral, too.

But, then, who are we to judge?

June 6, 2011

Pennies as protest — or, 2,500 reasons to get arrested

by Me

News media were abuzz this morning with a report that a Utah man paid a disputed $25 medical bill with pennies, and was subsequently arrested and charged with disorderly conflict.

Really.

Fast fact: When Seal Team Six found Osama bin Laden, he was reportedly discovered with literally tons of pennies, just waiting to drop them on an unsuspecting populace.

No, to be clear, he didn’t just pay with pennies — Jason West (no relation to Kanye, we assume) didn’t take the time to roll them into nice little cylinders. No, he walked in, said something along the lines of “Say hello to my little friends” (we hope), and dumped about 15 pounds of pennies on the counter and floor.

The folks at the medical clinic were flabbergasted, to say the least, more than one shouting, “Oh! The humanity!” before collapsing into piles of gurgling piles of flesh (again, we hope).

And, for this reason, West was charged with disorderly conflict.

As for the pennies-to-weight conversion, we checked. Each U.S. penny (post 1982) weighs 2.5 grams, so 2,500 of them equals about 15 pounds.

We also did a bit of other research: We tried to find out what, in 2011, you could buy with a single Lincoln pseudo-copper penny. To help out all the money-conscious out there, we compiled a list (because it is our lot in life to be a salve to those in need). That list is below:

 

 

 

 

 

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June 4, 2011

The evils of marijuana

by Me

We’re sort of apolitical here at Dumb Things of the Week. We don’t take stances on anything but idiocy, an issue about which we feel passionately.

So while the Connecticut State Senate is debating a bill that would decriminalize small amounts of marijuana, we’re not going to say ye or nay — nobody cares what we think, anyway.

REEFER MADNESS!!!!

And Sen. Toni Boucher has a right to her opin- no, wait, no she doesn’t. She should have no right to voice an opinion based on stupidity and misinformation.

During her drearily long speech on the floor of the Senate, using as much hyperbole and misinformation as there are characters in the Chinese alphabet, she spoke about the evils of marijuana, the terrible havoc it wreaks on unsuspecting children, how it leads to terrible things and how horrible the state will be should the bill pass.

She really did.

In her closing remarks, Boucher said she gets “physically sick when I think about this issue”  and read from an essay by a 7th grade student in New Haven who had been adopted.

This can kill you ... in 80 years or so.

“When I was born my mom had a drug addiction problem,” the kid, who remained nameless, supposedly wrote. He was apparently in and out of foster homes and was lucky enough to find a permanent residence with a loving family only four years ago.

“I don’t ever want to use drugs because drugs took my parents away from me,” he wrote.

Um, Ms. Boucher, can we ask a question? Which drugs? Weed? His parents were unable to take care of him because they smoked too much pot?

Yeah, right.

And, um, Ms. Boucher, can we ask another question? WHYARE YOU READING A 7th GRADER’s ESSAY ON THE FLOOR OF THE SENATE??

 

Sorry. Just had to vent there. Let’s all calm down with a bit of music.

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